So yesterday I tried to make up for my poor parenting the day before – I’d spent most of the day cleaning the house, cooking meals, breaking up sibling fights and then running 10k to regain my sanity, leaving no time for play, and so I agreed to watch shite TV with Gwen. She loves all the YouTube family vloggers (most of whom really make my poo itch). The episode she chose to watch with me was one of their 24 hour challenges – where the whole family spends 24 hours in 1 room (of their gigantic luxury home). I got bored after a few minutes of the high pitched fake screams for camera and started scrolling fb and was obviously distracted when I answered Gwen with ‘yeah, ok’….. to her question….. ‘Mummy, can we please do the 24 hour challenge?’ Caio witnessed my answer too so I was trapped!
After much persuading, I managed to convince them that 24 hours in 1 room with Mr Roach, 3 kids and a mum who is already struggling with being confined to a house and garden, let alone 1 room, would likely result in at least 1 murder, so they kindly agreed to a 12 hour room lock in challenge! Seriously, FML! Just when I though lockdown couldn’t get any worse, it goes on steroids and the struggle gets even bigger!
So last night we, all 5 of us, were locked in my bedroom for 12 frigging hours! All 3 Mini Mess Makers were like bottles of pop with Mentos inside! They were more excited about this sleepover challenge than any 5* holiday we’ve ever been on.
They spent the 2 hours before the challenge began packing their suitcases! Gwen made sure she had her leopard print boots, lipstick and perfume to don as soon as she woke up the following morning. Tomos brought with him every pair of socks he owns, complete with his actual sock drawer, 4 football kits and a magnifying glass, and Caio….. Well he packed up his entire bedroom, except for his chest of drawers and bed frame, and decanted it in my bedroom, resulting in the first thing I did upon entering the now packed room, (after gasping and silently mouthing OMFG at the sight of the mountain of shite from all over the house to now be piled in my bedroom) was to stumble over his guitar, fall to my knee and scream out as I landed on something hard, which turned out to be his freaking scooter, hidden under a jungle of teddy bears and fancy dress costumes!
Thankfully Mr Roach Coach remembered to pack us a bottle of wine to go with the tuc shop the kids had set up in the corner of my bedroom, and the array of breakfast cereals for the next morning, and we all ‘squeezed’ into bed to watch a film….. for precisely 80 seconds before Mr Roach Coach declared he felt ‘claustrophobic’ and moved himself to sit on the tiniest of kid’s chairs, which Caio had thankfully packed from the office (along with the hole punch and a family photo – although that detail isn’t relevant to the story, but helps you understand how random my middle child actually is!)
The argument over which film we were to watch lasted slightly less than usual, for only 36 minutes, before Mr Roach Coach jumped up from his tiny chair (which must have reinforced steel legs to not have collapsed by now!) and declared he would choose the film. And so we spent the next hour and a half watching a 20 year old animation about chickens! 🐓 🐓 🐓
40 minutes into the film Gwen decided she couldn’t see the TV properly due to the cereal boxes so jumped out of bed to move the box of Frosties, which all of a sudden had disturbed her view, only to pick it up the wrong way so each crunchy, sugary flake spilled from their box and onto my bedroom carpet. In my haste to limit the mess, I dived out of bed and knocked over Mr Roach Coach’s full glass of wine! As I’m on my knees in my knickers scrubbing the scent of Sauvignon Blanc out of my new bedroom carpet, whilst crunching Frosties with my knees at the same time, I look up to see Mr Roach Coach had steamed up the French doors with his breath and written ‘HELP!’ I was weak with laughter, fell back and crushed an Easter egg with my arse into the aforementioned new carpet!!!
Mr Roach Coach started shouting, the kids started bouncing on the bed again and I could do nothing but laugh as to how different the reality of this challenge was to what we had seen on TV earlier in the day! 🤣🤣
At some point during the night we all feel asleep in random positions across the room and awoke this morning to the sound of china bowls being filled with cereals by our golden hearted Gweni, who wanted to prepare breakfast for us all to thank us for doing the challenge. 🥰 And I have to say, it was the nicest bowl of Frosties and fluff with warm curdled milk I have ever tasted!
Thanks to the absolute carnage, that is often the reality of our family life, this challenge will probably be our most memorable night of lockdown. Utter freaking chaos but in a room full of love (…..and Caio’s random shite!) ❤️😊